Pell-Mell on Dell - 11/20/09

Pell-Mell on Dell
11/20/2009 7:29 AM EST

		Update DELL

Here is an imagined excerpt of what was really said on last night's Dell conference call.

Here is an imagined excerpt of what was really said on last night's Dell (DELL) conference call following the company's disappointing quarterly results!

Question: So, you guys whiffed everything, but forget that, can you talk about how bullish you are on this upgrade cycle next year? Oh, and great quarter guys! Answer: Yeah, we think it's gonna be huge. We have no idea how many units we can ship next month, and the next quarter is totally unpredictable to the point of science fiction. But, boy, for the full year, we have awesome visibility right now, and we feel great about it.

Question: Umm, you guys basically lost a truckload of market share this quarter when the personal computer market was absolutely ripping off the bottom, and you guys actually found a way to miss numbers in, like, the greatest sequential PC growth quarter we've had in, like, all time. But that's just noise, let's talk about this PC upgrade cycle: Does it start tomorrow, or next week?

Answer: Yeah, this cycle is going to be huge. Windows XP is eight years old, and the broader PC installed base just aged, like, three years in the last nine months miraculously. Even though personal computer units over the short term are going to grow modestly, we think there is massive pent-up demand out there.

Question: Hi, great quarter guys. So to clarify, basically the only way you guys won't lose massive market share and watch this entire PC cycle pass you by is if pricing magically goes up, because you are essentially admitting here that you can't really participate in the current environment and keep your gross margins above 18%. But, man, that upgrade cycle next year, I bet you guys are gonna kill it on that, right?

Answer: We sure are.

Rinse, repeat....